Feeling Guilty

I have called my Daugther through Skype-out, as daily activity at home. She talked me about her plan to Dancing with all the classmate in Dunia Fantasi next Wednesday. I asked her about the dance and custome, she was very excited tell about the Dance and specialy the custome it self in the middle of conversation she asked me to come and see the inaguration.........

This part is not easy to answer honestly, I try to find a nice word and not tell a lie to her, I said I would like to come and see your dance, it's my pleasure....... unfortunely... I couldn't come because I am 11.000 km away from you..... she said, "the party it will be in Wednesday, when you take a flight the day before you will be arrive in the morning and you will see my dance",........she insist...... "like last time when I am sleep in the night, you are huge me.... and I am weakup you are there, I would like to have that dream again", "If last time you can do, now you also can do.........", she is convince me.

I said, "I came last time because it was plan for my vacation, I couldn't come this time because I am not on vacat..................", I am not finished yet she was crying and I heard that she's feeling so sad, I can feel it...............Oh God, what should I say.... I just quit, she'is still crying, I explain to her, to asked Mom to recording by Handycamm the dance party and send it to me the video, so I will see her dance too I said.... but she's still crying, finally my wife try to explain to her about this situation........ Sorry my Baby, I am dispointed you, I was thinking to quit from this job and come back with my family even the consequency I will loose my job......

She is almost Five year in february next year.... and as father I am not give my kids attention.... sometimes I feelt guilty of my self, What I am doing here...... God Please forgive me, I am just care about my self and my career and not take care the family day by day....

I hope this will be temporary situations, hope we can stay together as family very soon......and you could come and stay here or I could come back..., may Allah give us the best way for all of us....., amien